Breaking the Chains

I haven't written in a while. I've just been keeping myself busy. Hanging out with friends a lot, enjoying the sunshine, and just having a good time. 

Pretty soon I am going to be moving to my friend's house. I just have to find a job in the city she lives in. I can't wait to get out of where I am living now. For those that know me well, you already know why this is. For the ones that don't, just know that I went through a lot of shit growing up with the person I am living with now. Shit that no one should ever have had to go through. Shit that makes me constantly live in fear as long as this person is near. 

I know I should let those past events effect who I am today, but I really can't help it. Every single day I am constantly reminded about the things that happened. I can't get over it no matter how hard I try. Every single moment of my life I am constantly worried about what may happen to me. I'm scared to sleep, I'm scared to breathe. I just need to get out of here and start a new beginning. I need to move on to the next chapter of my life. 

I'm ready to break free from these chains and learn to fly on my own. 

I thought I was doing that when I got married. I thought I was escaping my troubled life and that's why I got married at such a young age. It was a very stupid decision though. It just ended up causing more problems in my life. More experiences I shouldn't have had to go through. 

But I am smarter now. At least I hope I am..